So the motherfucking vid I've been working on since fucking June is theoretically done, and on Youtube. It's slow to play, and I have no idea whether that's the video, Youtube, or just my internet and I'm so completely scared of this not turning out perfectly. Yes, I should have uploaded probably anything else just to test things, but when have I ever utilized common sense and long-term planning? Oh fuck, I'll figure it out.
Jan. 16th, 2015
So, here it is: the fanvid that's been eating my brain since June. This is the vid that finally drove me over the edge into properly learning how, and I'm both incredibly proud of it and incredibly defensive. Thrice's song 'Blood Clots and Black Holes' had one line that jumped out at me immediately ("to be at peace/would be a sin/and surely un-american") and it was that line that got me to really listen to the rest of the song and then be sort of hit over the head with visuals and other lyric/footage parallels.
I hope I'm able to get across at least some of the motifs that caught my eye, because the song works insanely well as a rumination on fame, duty, human worth, and how all of these things can be manipulated or outright corrupted in the act of serving a higher purpose, as well as something of a compare/contrast in Steve and Bucky's treatment at the hands of people using these concepts to get what they want.
I think the vid comes across as maybe too harsh on Fury and Erskine and their use of Steve by appealing to his martyrdom and lowered self-worth, but it's also meant as a contrast; while they weren't entirely honest to Steve and both were comfortable abusing his ideals, he did give an informed and enthusiastic consent to be physically remade and then put to use; Bucky was never given a choice.
And yes, I am totally stealing the first line of a famous untitled poem of e.e. cummings and I am totally doing it as a response to the best fanfiction anyone is ever going to write for this 'verse, which uses a modification of the second to last line of the same. It fucking fits, and it's my damn vid, and I'll do what I want. And if you haven't yet read Lalaietha's your blue-eyed boys and related works, you haven't properly experienced the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a fandom. Her fictional writings as well as her meta on the boys is incredible and has been invaluable to me as a fannish participant. As such, this is informally dedicated to her.
Thanks also go to my good friend Trevor Samora on Youtube for all of his technical help in my many times of need, and my ever so patient roommate mygoddesstonks for putting up with a tremendous amount of whining.
( Lyrics )